Things that go BOOM in the Night
by PadFootWasHere
Summary: psychotic red-heads with split personalities and the Clown Prince of Gotham. Can anyone find me a better recipe for Chaos and an unhappy Batsy! Joker/Oc
1. Chapter 1

**Things that go BOOM in the Night**

_**Eris: **__age 23, height 5'2", Weight 102lbs, Hair short, curly, cherry-red, Eyes big blue, pouty mouth, multiple tattoos, was a dancer as a child, slight split personality disorder, no family, Emotionally attached to her bunny. Has an unhealthy obsession with kitchen cutlery/utensils and an uncontrollable fondness for adorable baby animals. Childish Eris and adult Eris are both crazy and sadistic adult Eris just has more control and mental capacity. Childish Eris runs off instincts basically, very black and white but in a screwed up childish view._

_Italics=dreams/memories_

**Chapter 1**

The young woman sat on top of a dumpster in a dark alleyway of the Narrows. She hugged her stuffed bunny tightly and swung her legs as she looked over the pair of dead men at her feet. Her short, curly, cherry-red hair stuck up crazily and went well with the slightly deranged look on her face as she smiled; her stitches tattoo pulling creepily at the right corner of her mouth.

She blinked her big blue eyes and delicately pulled her butcher's knife from one of the men's skulls. It made a nasty sloppy sound and she grinned. She knelt down and began the tedious but fulfilling process of jointing and dismembering her 'would be rapist/murderers' turned victims. Her bunny plushy sat imposingly, on top of the dumpster, watching with lifeless, red button eyes.

She stopped mid swing when she heard a noise from the opening of the alley. She turned and looked at the strange man who stood watching her. The girl's head tilted to the side in confusion and the man mirrored her. She blinked rapidly and scrunched up her face pulling her bunny into her arms and dropping her knife.

"Who're you? Are you gonna try and hurt me too?" the man tilted his head again in confusion, the girl was clearly at least in her teens but spoke like a child... the man stepped forward and into the meager light the alley provided.

The girl took in the man's messy, faded green hair, face paint and long purple coat... She looked down at the mostly butchered bodies at her feet and back to the clownish man before her who was clearly neither terrified nor appalled.

"Are you the one everyone whispers about?"

The Joker Smirked. " 'Fraid so sweetheart."

"Yah' gonna kill me now?"

"Now why would I do somethin' like that? Huh, Doll-face?" The pair stared at each other for a moment longer before the girl blinked and smiled pulling another butcher's knife seemingly from thin air.

"Do you wanna' help?" the Joker took the knife without question but then gave the clearly unstable red head a confused look.

"Whats your name Doll?"

The red head blinked and looked up at him from the bloody concrete. "Eris."

The Joker choked back the cackle that threatened to burst from his throat. Eris - the Greek goddess of chaos.

Eris dumped the remaining body parts in to the dumpster and turned to look at the infamous clown prince of Gotham. He held out her spare butcher knife and she just stared at it for a moment before taking it and wiping it almost lovingly with a torn piece of clothing from the ground. She slid the knife into a casing on the inside of her jacket and looked at the Joker again.

They stared at each other for a while longer, and then the Joker turned on his heel and walked out of the alley, Eris trailing behind him wordlessly.

PAGE BREAK

'_Mommy, Mommy! Where are you?' The tiny red headed eight year old ran down the alley frantically looking for her mother. When she reached the end she saw her mother lying unmoving on the ground with red gooey stuff coming from her head, a huge nasty looking man standing over her with a gun in his hand. Big blue eyes widened in confusion and fear. 'Mama?' the man turned and smirked when he saw her._

'_Come here little one…' Eris did NOT like the look on his face and stepped back. _

'_No, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers…' the man's smirk turned into a snarl and he moved towards her faster. She turned and ran clutching her bunny tightly tears streaming down her face. She tripped near the mouth of the alley and curled into a ball waiting for the man to catch her. _

_He never did. She glanced back and saw the man lying unconscious on the concrete. A tall black clothed thing standing over him. It turned and looked at her. 'Are you alright?' its voice was deep and raspy._

_Eris's lower lip quivered and tears poured down her face. 'Mommy...'_

_The bat thing turned and looked at the other body in the alley. 'I'm sorry; I'll take you to the station.' Eris let herself be picked up and stared silently over Batsy's shoulder at her mother's body as they left for the station._

Eris sat up slowly in her new bed. She looked around the dismal monochromatic bedroom and sighed. She stood up and stretched, her yawn cracking her jaw and showing of filed canine teeth. She re-strapped her knives all over her body and pulled on her hooded leather jacket to hide the ones decorating her torso. She wondered briefly what her other self had been thinking following the Joker home… if you could call a rundown warehouse, which had been redesigned and made livable on the inside, a home.

She blinked at her bunny lying on the bed and picked him up with a sigh knowing if she was without him and switched, all hell would break loose. She pulled the straps free from his back and slid him over her shoulders like a back pack.

Eris looked at her door and sat down on her bed. "What now…" A serious look passed over her face and she stood again. She walked over to the door and opened it slowly looking out into the depressing living quarters: the kitchen, living room, and a couple of doors, one probably lead to a laundry room and the other probably leading to the Joker's bedroom.

She walked out into the kitchen; there were a pair of large minions she may have met the night before… Anson and Blake? Maybe? She walked to the coffee pot and poured herself some she doused it in sugar and just a touch of crème, and turned to lean on the counter. Anson stared at her in confusion.

Anson was a large black man with Hazel eyes, and Blake was a tall thin man with light brown hair and green eyes. They both seemed very confused as they stared at her in shock. "What?"

The men shook their heads and looked away. She smirked to herself and began searching through the kitchen. She found some unspoiled milk and egg, bread, peanut butter, pancake mix, syrup, a case of lemon kool-aid mix and lots of frozen hamburger meat. Eris shook her head. "You guys hungry?"

The two men's heads shot towards her and they both nodded rapidly. She smiled and dug out a frying pan, pancake mix, eggs, milk, and syrup. She looked at Blake, "set the table." The man jumped into action, practically dripping in excitement at the idea of a homemade breakfast. "Anson Where's the Joker?"

The man paled and swallowed. "I ah- umm, I don't know miss." Eris smiled at him gently.

"Eris."

The large man jumped a bit and nodded. "Yes ma'am." She raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. "Eris."

She nodded in satisfaction and turned back to her cooking pancakes. "I'm done Eris." The red head looked over her shoulder at Blake.

"Put one out for the Joker too." both men paled dramatically and stared at her in terror. She turned back to the pancakes. "Don't make me repeat myself boys." She smiled when she heard Blake scramble for another plate and glass. She flipped the last pancake and set the tray on the table, and smiled at them "I'll be right back. Go ahead and eat."

The men nodded and watched her walk over to the Jokers door. She opened it and ducked instinctively as a knife flew out of the dark room and zipped over her head and embedded into the wall behind her. She flipped on the bedroom light and gave the clown a bored look. He glared at her from his place in bed. "I made Breakfast. Get up." With that she turned and went back to the table. The minions stared at her in shock and she gave them a serious look, "Eat!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Was echoed from both, it was about fifteen more minutes before the Joker emerged fully painted and dressed minus his coat and shoes. He flopped himself into the empty kitchen chair and Eris set a cup of Black coffee in front of him.

The Joker looked at the food and the coffee then back at the confusing girl next to him. "Your cracked aren't you."

Eris laughed loudly and flashed sharpened canines at him in a tattoo pulling smile. "I'm split." The Joker nodded and drank his coffee.

After they ate the clown stood up and opened a cabinet pulling out a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and a pack of lemon kool-aid. He poured the vodka and dumped the entire pack of powder into it he swirled it around a bit mixing it he poured it in his mouth and swished it around like mouth wash and swallowed.

The Joker grinned at Eris, his previously clean teeth having taken on a dark yellowish tinge. Eris raised an eyebrow, "Creative." He nodded and motioned his boys up.

"Come on, we've got work to do boys."

PAGE BREAK

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Things that go Boom in the Night**

_**Eris:**__age 23, height 5'2", Weight 102lbs, Hair short, curly, cherry-red, Eyes big blue, pouty mouth, multiple tattoos, was a dancer as a child, slight split personality disorder, no family, Emotionally attached to her bunny. Has an unhealthy obsession with kitchen cutlery/utensils and an uncontrollable fondness for adorable baby animals. Childish Eris and adult Eris are both crazy and sadistic adult Eris just has more control and mental capacity. Childish Eris runs off instincts basically, very black and white but in a screwed up childish view._

_Italics=dreams/memories_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Eris looked over her shoulder into the mirror the words carved into her back. Her eyes darkened,_** FREAK**_, _**WHORE**_, **WORTHLESS**, the last one still healing,she blinked around the sting in her eyes and started when the bathroom door was pulled open. She jerked her shirt back down but couldn't hide the wince or the blood staining the back of the grey shirt that the Joker could see clearly in the bathroom mirror.

The Joker stared at her calmly some other emotion hidden in dark eyes; he glanced briefly at the bandages and medical supplies littering the counter then the bandages that wrapped up her left (upper) arm and the mostly faded bruises on her right bicep. He stepped further into the room and shut the door behind.

Eris stepped back as he stepped towards her. But before she could react further he had reached out and grabbed the back of her head, he bent her surprisingly carefully over the bathroom counter and holding her head down to keep her from moving away. He jerked her shirt back up to her shoulders ignoring her hiss of pain and ran his gloved fingers along the sloppily carved letters. The red head whined in her throat and tried to pull away. There were other older scars decorating her back and shoulders around the words and a couple cuts that were sloppily stitched shut on her upper right arm.

The Joker made eye contact with her in the mirror. "Who?" Eris Hissed at him in a very cat like manner and tried to pull away again. But the Clown Prince just jerked her hair and pushed her head harder into the tile. "WHO!"

"HE'S ALREADY DEAD!" The Joker let go and stepped back eyeing Eris in that same curious way that he had on the night he'd found her jointing bodies in that alley way. "I killed him three weeks ago"

The Joker raised an eyebrow, "Who, doll."

"My father and step-mother." The Joker nodded and motioned for her to sit. "Why?"

"Because you're not going to be of any use to me if those stitches or cuts get infected and you get sick or we have to cut off your arm. So sit Doll Face. Talk."

Eris sat backwards on the closed toilet seat, hissing as the Joker poured alcohol over her arm and began wrapping it. He tugged at her shirt and she pulled it off, he whistled and smirked at her when he took in the full damage. "I wasn't exactly the daughter my rich distinguished doctor father wanted and his step wife hated me because she couldn't have her own kids and I wouldn't put up with her _mothering_ crap, that and I was a blemish on my _perfect_ fathers _perfect_ record. They didn't like my tattoos either." She smirked at the deranged man over her right shoulder and her tattoo pulled with her grin.

"Well I guess there's only so much abuse a traumatized child can take before they snap so to speak. I think the therapist called them psychotic breaks or something… I never liked him, he has- well _had_ grabby hands…" she snickered "My Father wanted to have me committed to Arkham, but _Doris_, my step mother, was more worried about their reputations. So they pulled me from school when I was 15 and locked me up in the attic room and that was my home until three weeks ago."

The joker finished with the bandages around her torso and patted her hair. He didn't say a word, just turned and left the bathroom calling for his henchmen as he did. Eris watched the Joker's back as it moved away from her, she felt the change to other Eris almost like a switch being flipped in her head and then it was like watching through someone else's eyes, almost like flipping places with the little voice in her head.

She giggled in a childish manner and reached for her Bunny only to realize he wasn't there; wasn't even in the room with her. The panic came first then the crazed rage that clouded judgment. She ran out of the bathroom and into the main area, only to freeze in her tracks as she saw a large hairy henchman holding _**her**_ bunny by its floppy ears and snickering with one of his friends. The poor man never even saw it coming. He was on the ground with a tiny crazed girl pinning him to the floor with knives and body weight she was grinning crazily at him and had a look in her eyes that made him want to piss his pants.

She pulled a serrated knife out of her boot and went to slice the man's throat when her arm was caught and she was hauled up and flung on to the couch, she sat up immediately with a hiss of both pain and fury only to have her bunny shoved in her face by a purple gloved hand. Eris cooed in her throat and curled around her bunny with a contented little smile her previous rage completely forgotten. "Mr. Bunny!" she giggled and cuddled the black plush toy, the joker fought off the urge to roll his eyes and turned to the cowering man on the floor, taking in his bloody arms, torso, and face, he pulled his gun and shot the man in the head he was just hired muscle and was no good to him damaged.

The Joker looked up at the other men in the room "Don't touch the girls Bunny. Ever." He waved his gun around for emphasis and grabbed Eris by her uninjured arm, pulling her off the couch with a growl and dragged her along to his office.

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><p>"You mind not trying to slaughter my minions?" Eris blinked up at him with wide innocent blue eyes.<p>

"I'm sorry…"

The Joker scowled at the childish attitude this side of Eris seemed to possess. "Fine sweets now I need to talk to big Eris…" He paused not entirely sure how to proceed, the childish girl seemed to understand. She closed her eyes and seemed to concentrate on something. Then there was a change, in the way she held her self and definitely in her eyes when she opened them to stare boredly at the Joker.

There was a dark, angry, pain that burned away the childish innocence that the opposite change brought. Her face took on an almost older more mature quality and her entire countenance just screamed wariness with a hint of boredom. "I'm sorry."

The Joker grunted an affirmative and simply observed the obvious differences and similarities in the two personalities. "I need you for this job Doll." Eris raised an eyebrow and slouched in a lazy manner, forcing herself to seem uninterested. The Joker would have bought it too if he hadn't seen the brief flash of excitement in her eyes. She was good but was she good enough to fool Batman? They'd find out.

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><p><strong>AN:** ch2 is done! Yay! R&R please. No hate mail Please cuz I'll either delete them or ignore them so you're really just wasting your time and disrupting my writing process which just upsets the people who do like my story. So please be considerate and just don't be nasty, if you don't like it then why are you wasting your precious time reading and commenting on it. Thank you!


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